snickfic: (Cordelia excited)
[personal profile] snickfic
Title: Adaptability in the Workplace is Key
Pairing: Cordelia/Giles
Rating / Words: PG / 370 words
Setting: Early Ats S2
Warnings/Kinks: mpreg, genderswap, idiosyncratic use of first-person plural

A/N: This is dedicated to [personal profile] deird1 first of all, who muttered something weeks ago about "Cordelia/Giles mpreg season 5 genderswap PG-rated drabble darkfics." This is neither darkfic (because I'm apparently incapable of writing that) nor composed of drabbles, but I think I hit all the others. Also dedicated to [livejournal.com profile] angearia, for whom I've always wanted to write genderswap but never managed to.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] ghostyouknow27 for the beta and [livejournal.com profile] bobthemole for the handholding. :)

~~~~~

Tuesday plan: Fake teensy headache. Send Angel to maybe-mission in a sewer far far away. Get Giles in at the Hyperion to look over Shanshu prophecy. Treat ourself to fabulous latté. Take evening off.

Result: Geekazoid ex-rogue demon hunter and decrepit ex-librarian glare politely, knock over latté. Angel is stinky and grumpy. Demon follows us home, slobbers all over us, dies goopy.

Wednesday morning plan: Drycleaning. Buy fresh new fabulous latté. Make testosteronal Englishmen behave.

Result: Wake up man. We’re talking actual man-parts, here.

Wednesday morning, plan B: Forget dry-cleaning; go straight to work. In panic, clutch hand of first ex-Watcher we see.

Result: Exchange body fluids, by which we mean sweat. We’re sweating. Gross. Also, no progress made on the removal of MAN-PARTS.

Thursday plan: Who the hell cares? Giles woke up female this morning. We’re still male. Our lives all suck.

(Giles is pretty good at sucking, it turns out. Who knew?)

Friday plan: Be a woman again.

Result: Woke up female this morning oh thank god OH MY GOD WE SLEPT WITH GILES. What the hell just happened? Oh god oh god.

(Giles is a guy again. Yay?)

Friday plan, part II: Research. We are so not even complaining about the research. Or any other reason not to look at Giles. Ever again. We slept with woman Giles. Does that make us lesbian?

Result: Demon identified: Drynox demon, reproduces via third parties (= us!), induces spontaneous temporary sexual transformation and extreme pheromone production (= SEX WITH GILES).

Friday afternoon plan: Oh my god we are not going through the demon pregnancy thing again. Morning-after pill, STAT.

Result: Not pregnant with demon spawn? Probably?

Two Fridays later plan: Pregnancy test. Oh god.

Result: Almost definitely not pregnant. Pretty sure. Do these sticks actually work for demon spawn?

--

Six more Fridays later plan: Buy fancy-schmancy archival-quality pens for geekazoid English coworker. Treat ourself to fabulous mocha. Do nails.

Result: Giles calls. Oh. Huh. Turns out we were totally never in danger of carrying the demon spawn.

New plan: Research research research. Ask the Host about specialty demon surgeons. All those demons know each other, right? And hey, how come Hallmark doesn’t carry cards that say “Condolences on your demon pregnancy”?

[END]

Date: 2011-10-25 02:04 am (UTC)
rranne: rranne's logo-handprint on the galaxy (Default)
From: [personal profile] rranne
Cute!

Date: 2011-10-25 03:49 am (UTC)
deird1: Cordelia reading, with text "Angel: pretty much a girly name" (Cordelia girly name)
From: [personal profile] deird1
YAY. I love it. :)

Date: 2011-10-25 10:38 am (UTC)
verity: buffy embraces the mid 90s shades (Default)
From: [personal profile] verity
haha, lovely!

Date: 2011-10-25 03:03 pm (UTC)
rebcake: Giles serious then laughing (btvs giles lol)
From: [personal profile] rebcake
My favorite bit? The way Cordy always refers to herself as "we". Queen C, for sure!

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