snickfic: (Spike hate you)
[personal profile] snickfic
Title: Evening In
Words: 1300
Characters: Spike, Buffy
Rated:: PG
Warnings: mpreg

A/N: So, you know those sequel-ish snippets for Seraph that I sort of promised? This is not those. This is a bit of an outtake from Seraph itself, for my fabulous wonderful beta [livejournal.com profile] penny_lane_42, who requested such for her birthday (which was yesterday, but time-warps are canon in the Buffyverse, yanno). It takes place just after the poker night chapter of Seraph.

This really is an outtake - it's a scene I started about three times but never could fit into the fic itself. If it weren't for Lauren, it'd never have seen the light of day. Plus, it's my first Buffy-POV piece longer than a drabble. Hope you like, hon!

Trivia: this has some bits in it salvaged from the very first day I worked on Seraph, from the original first scene that bore basically no relation to the fic as it now stands. But, yay salvage.

~~~~~

Buffy was having a nice, quiet evening. Nobody to bother her, since everyone else was off doing their own thing, in pairs, while the other half of her pair was down at the shooting range. Riley had invited her along, and for a half-second she’d considered explaining -- again -- just how much guns were not a Buffy weapon. But instead she gave him the lame excuse about all the sword-polishing and stake-sanding and general maintenance of poky objects that Giles had been bugging her about. Of course, that not only told Riley how much she really didn’t want to go shooting with him -- since when did she choose weapons maintenance over, well, anything? -- but also meant she’d feel bad if she didn’t actually go home and do it.

So here she was: Buffy, kitchen, whetstones, a few blades, and pop radio. Oh, yeah, she and J.Lo were having a blast.

A flicker of motion caught her eye, and she glanced up just in time to see Spike ducking out of the doorway.

Oh-kaaay.

Through the music she dimly heard him tramping up the stairs. Then down. And back in the doorway again. “Where’s your mum?” he growled.

Before he’d moved in Buffy had listed all the reasons for why pregnant Spike in her basement was an apocalyptically bad idea, but somehow his sheer moodiness hadn’t even made the top ten. Fifteenth, maybe. “Gallery open house,” she said. Before he could ask – it was always the next question – she added, “And Dawn’s at Janice’s.”

“Hmph.” He slid his hand over his shiny gelled head.

Don’t ask. You don’t want to know, Buffy, don’t ask... “What’s up?”

He scowled at her with a sort of banked fury, which made it the third time in the last week she’d seen that particular expression. Only the undead had the energy for this kind of melodrama. She lifted an eyebrow and waited.

After one more particularly furious glare, he started pulling at his shirt.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” she said, throwing her hands up in a screen. “Do not need vampire strip tease!”

But he’d only lifted the shirt high enough to show off his belly -- his huge, round baby belly -- and now he was glaring at her again.

“O-kaaay,” she ventured, “what am I looking at here?”

“It’s my navel.”

Buffy craned her neck, peering. “I agree,” she said. There it was, plain as day. Pretty hard to miss, actually.

“It’s sticking out.”

“Yep.”

“It didn’t used to!”

“Oh.” No, thinking back to the visit with Stacey the One-Quarter-Demon Doctor, she guessed it hadn’t. “Is that... normal? Does it mean something’s wrong?” Except, normal? Not exactly a useful predictor here.

“No.” He dropped the hem of his shirt and heaved a sigh. “Happens to most pregnant... people, I guess.”

“But it just happened to you today.” Okay, so she couldn’t blame him. If her inny parts randomly started popping out, she’d be Seriously Wigged Buffy.

“Well, no.” He rubbed at the back of his neck with his hand. “Been working its way out for a while now.”

“So...”

“I thought maybe it wouldn’t, with me. Your mum’s always going on about how much easier a time I’m having of it, being male. Or being dead, more’s the point.” Somehow the fury had all seeped away, leaving only ruefulness. “Thought maybe meeting the world navel-first was one of the things I’d miss.”

“Um, Spike? Not to bruise the fragile vampire ego, but you pretty much look pregnant.” She paused to wait for the snarl, but he only shrugged. “You wear sweatpants because nothing else fits and you live in my basement so the obsessed cult vamps can’t get to you.”

“Yeah, thanks, Slayer,” said Spike, sounding exasperated. “My dignity’s curled up and died on me. I get it.”

“So why do you care if you have an outie?” Again, that probably came under the heading of ‘things Buffy didn’t actually want to know.’ Stupid mouth.

“S’just, you know, this isn’t supposed to be happening to me!” Abruptly, he grabbed one of the rags from her pile and started rubbing at a knife blade.

Oh. “I get that.”

He flashed her an instant’s skepticism. “You do?”

“I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“You are?” He gave her a hard look, and then chuckled in disbelief. “You are. Will wonders never cease.”

“Look, I’m the Slayer, right? I slay things. I’m good with the slaying. But this...” She gestured at him, all bloated and malformed and pregnant, and grimaced. “This experimenting and, and cutting demons up to make new demons and who knows what else, it’s no good. They should have staked you. Not this.”

“Still after my dust, Slayer?” He asked it lightly, a sparkle of real amusement in his eyes.

She rolled her eyes. “Anyway, yeah, I’m sorry.”

He stared at the blade he was polishing as though he might really see himself in its mirror shine. “I’m not,” he mumbled.

“What?”

He looked up, startled. Then his gaze shifted furtively away, an expression that on anyone but him, stupid contrary vampire, would have signaled a lie.

“Not sorry,” he repeated. “I mean, yeah, bloody hate the chip. Don’t fancy the picture of those bastards fiddling around in my innards, either. But I wouldn’t have her otherwise, would I?” His breath was almost a laugh. “Not just the soldier boys, either. So many ways it could have gone, and I wouldn’t have her. If I’d managed to off you any of the dozen or so times I tried. If Dru hadn’t kept pushing me away.” His glance flickered to her and away again. “If any single one of my plans in the last three years had come off right, I wouldn’t have a little one now.”

Buffy eyed him carefully. “I guess.”

Suddenly he looked up, eyes glinting with – oh, God – mischief. “‘Course, I also wouldn’t get to watch the poor, frustrated Slayer sit at home alone, fondling her stakes.”

And that would be reason number two for the apocalyptic badness, right behind Might get unchipped and kill us all in our sleep. So much for the... bonding. Or whatever. “Go away, Spike.”

“If you run out of the stakes, I’ve got some other suggestions—”

Out.” When he just stood there smirking at her, she started up from her seat, stake brandished.

He dropped the knife and rag and sidled back and out the doorway. “Just saying, Slayer...” he said, but he went.

Setting the stake aside, Buffy slathered oil on the whetstone, slid a knife from its scabbard, and drew the blade across the stone, which made a cold, prickles-on-your-neck sound that was very satisfying. Kind of like therapy. Necessary, cheap, and – shhhhck – vicariously violent therapy.

“Slayer?” She wiped the excess oil off with a rag, ground the blade against the stone again, and waited for him to leave, but he didn’t. Finally she looked up. His hands were hooked backwards over his hips, his back arched in one of those universal pregnant-woman poses he struck without even seeming to realize it. When he caught her looking at him he dropped his hands. “I, um.” His gaze shifted away. “I don’t suppose I could interest you in another backrub.”

If there’d been even a hint of smirk or suggestion she’d have laughed in his face, but there wasn’t. With the way he wouldn’t meet her eyes, he was probably embarrassed, which, hey – great look for him. Except, don’t ask her how, but somewhere along the way generic, all-purpose Spike-pain had lost its appeal.

Even if he did still need a punch in the nose.

Buffy heaved a sigh. “Let’s go,” she said, motioning towards the living room and pretending not to see the relief that flickered across his face.

Just a quiet evening at home for Buffy the Vampire Masseuse. Yep.

Finis

Date: 2010-01-06 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jen-nsync-landl.livejournal.com
Just a quiet evening at home for Buffy the Vampire Masseuse. Yep.

Hee. :)

Seraph is still on my to-read list, so I don't even know this 'verse, but this is a sweet, funny, tender little exchange.

Date: 2010-01-06 03:05 am (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
From: [personal profile] deird1
Yay! How fun!

Date: 2010-01-06 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] timeofchange.livejournal.com
Fun! And funny, too.

Date: 2010-01-06 03:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bobthemole.livejournal.com
That's a brilliant final line!

Date: 2010-01-06 03:56 am (UTC)
rahirah: (Default)
From: [personal profile] rahirah
I still need to read the main story! Cute!

Date: 2010-01-06 04:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebcake.livejournal.com
Weirdly, I read all of Seraph without wondering at all about Spike's sex drive. Don't you think that's weird? How many of us think not at all about Spike's sexual impulses? Don't answer that. Anyway, this got me wondering, and it wasn't even the double entendre-ing. It was this:

He scowled at her with a sort of banked fury, which made it the third time in the last week she’d seen that particular expression. Only the undead had the energy for this kind of melodrama.

Weird, right? Anyway, nifty story, thought-provoking in all sorts of inappropriate ways, and boffo finish! Well done.
Edited Date: 2010-01-08 02:41 am (UTC)

Date: 2010-01-06 04:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seapealsh.livejournal.com
Another example of their budding friendship that you write so well. I wish it was my birthday so I could ask you to revisit this 'verse again!

Date: 2010-01-06 05:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 2maggie2.livejournal.com
A chance to revisit Seraph! Yay!!!

Date: 2010-01-06 11:18 am (UTC)
shapinglight: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shapinglight
Any more Seraph in any form is fine by me. Enjoyed this out take very much indeed.

Date: 2010-01-06 12:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slaymesoftly.livejournal.com
Awww - love it. Another one of those "we're finding out we really can get along once in a while" scenes. I love that this Buffy is still very much "OMG, it's Spike" Buffy, but at the same time shows that innate kindness that we so rarely got to see on the show. She's just enough softer for me to remember how many ways she's a hero.

Date: 2010-01-06 02:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] penny-lane-42.livejournal.com
!!!! What a lovely, lovely present! You know how much I love any Buffy&Spike friendship fics--and I especially adore the way you write these two. It's another moment of understanding!! Watch me use lots of exclamation points!

Of course, that not only told Riley how much she really didn’t want to go shooting with him -- since when did she choose weapons maintenance over, well, anything? -- but also meant she’d feel bad if she didn’t actually go home and do it.
Uh-oh! Trouble's coming for those two, but that's so, so Buffy: taking her excuse seriously, and then actually staying home and doing it because she said she was. That's my girl.

Hee! Spike is a very moody guy, and I can only imagine how pregnancy would exacerbate that!

Before he could ask – it was always the next question – she added, “And Dawn’s at Janice’s." Aw! And even though Dawn's not actually in it, you managed to slip in a bit of Spike&Dawness for me!

Don’t ask. You don’t want to know, Buffy, don’t ask... “What’s up?” And again: so, so Buffy.

He scowled at her with a sort of banked fury, which made it the third time in the last week she’d seen that particular expression. I know exactly which expression you're talking about! What a fantastic way of describing it!

“I agree,” she said. There it was, plain as day. Pretty hard to miss, actually. Your understated humor just kills me. I cannot even tell you.

If her inny parts randomly started popping out, she’d be Seriously Wigged Buffy. Have I mentioned that I love your Buffy-voice?

Abruptly, he grabbed one of the rags from her pile and started rubbing at a knife blade. Ha! I love the idea of Spike reaching for the weapons when he's feeling this way--they make him feel all manly!

"You are?” He gave her a hard look, and then chuckled in disbelief. “You are. Will wonders never cease.” Aw! *loves these two so hard*

Then his gaze shifted furtively away, an expression that on anyone but him, stupid contrary vampire, would have signaled a lie. Oh, oh, oh! I love this! The backwardness of it! Because it's true--and so Spike!

And he's so sweet! Saying that he's glad it happened cause he has his daughter! *dies of sweetness*

“‘Course, I also wouldn’t get to watch the poor, frustrated Slayer sit at home alone, fondling her stakes.”
And the abrupt change in tone? So very, very Buffy&Spike.

"If you run out of the stakes, I’ve got some other suggestions—” I love that you slide the innuendo in there, but that there's not too much of it. No rampant flirting. Just two people who are stumbling toward some sort of understanding.

which made a cold, prickles-on-your-neck sound that was very satisfying. Kind of like therapy. Necessary, cheap, and – shhhhck – vicariously violent therapy. Oh, I love this! I'm a big fan of Buffy getting more in touch with her...primal-ness.

Except, don’t ask her how, but somewhere along the way generic, all-purpose Spike-pain had lost its appeal.
This encapsulates the whole fic--and their whole relationship in "Seraph"--for me.

Even if he did still need a punch in the nose. Well, as long as you tag this part on the end! ;)

And I love the ending. More Buffy massages! Yay!

Thank you so, so much for the lovely gift! I enjoyed it so much! And anytime you want to share anything from the Seraphverse, do it!

Date: 2010-01-06 07:44 pm (UTC)
next_to_normal: (Default)
From: [personal profile] next_to_normal
Aww! They're so cute.

I do have to agree with them - innies turning into outies is one of the things that definitely weirds me out about pregnancy. I don't know if I said this while reading the fic itself, but those types of details really helped sell the story to me. It made Spike's pregnancy seem more realistic and down to earth, which you don't usually see depicted in fanfic (even when it's a natural pregnancy with a human mother, lol).

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From: [personal profile] next_to_normal - Date: 2010-01-08 06:42 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [personal profile] next_to_normal - Date: 2010-01-09 08:33 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2010-01-06 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipenates.livejournal.com
Lovely. And great last line.

Date: 2010-01-06 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brutti-ma-buoni.livejournal.com
Hee! Lovely slice of life; I adore Buffy's exasperation which doesn't quite stop her being helpful where it's needed. (And the list of potential Spike badness is hilarious!)

Date: 2010-01-08 12:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyofthelog.livejournal.com
Ahhhhh. I loved the understated proto-Spuffy you had going on in Seraph, and I'm delighted that there's a little more of the same. Oh, Buffy the Vampire Masseuse! You create such great visuals - I could imagine Buffy sharpening her weapons huffily and Spike examining his belly with consternation. Wonderful. :)

Date: 2010-01-10 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lynnalso.livejournal.com
What a treat to get more Seraphverse. I found myself thinking about poor Spikebaby dealing with a helicopter parent as she gets older,that's how realistic his pregnancy and his emotional response is.

Date: 2010-01-10 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whichclothes.livejournal.com
This was so sweet. I love this verse.

Date: 2010-01-10 10:09 pm (UTC)
ext_7259: (Default)
From: [identity profile] moscow-watcher.livejournal.com
Yay! More "Seraph"! Wonderful snippet.

FIC: Evening In

Date: 2010-01-10 11:49 pm (UTC)
cordykitten: (goldenusagi  spuffy Buffy touchy)
From: [personal profile] cordykitten
I'm glad you wrote the outtake. :)

It was fun to visit them again. Thanks for sharing the birthday present with us. Enjoyed.

Date: 2010-01-11 02:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hello-spikey.livejournal.com
aaaaaw that's darling! Poor wee Spike and his outtie!

Hee hee *snicker*

Great to see more of this, in any case. I love the gentle bonding. Spike still throws out the inappropriate comments, but he's so darn helpless and cute, ya forgive him. Go Buffy, vampire masseuse!

Date: 2010-01-11 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brunettepet.livejournal.com
What a wonderful exchange. I thought Buffy sharpening weaponry while her pregnant demon housemate complains about having an outie had to be one of the sweetest domestic moments ever and then you upped the ante with the massage. I love your Buffy to pieces.

Date: 2010-01-15 07:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thisficklemob.livejournal.com
Hee!

I can also see Spike, post delivery, complaining about scars on his belly in a similar manner, or a baby-pooch. He'd pull up his shirt all, "look at this!," and Buffy would be all, "Um." Thinking, since when did Spike get ripped?, and that his beach-ball abs had really dampened down his sex appeal.

:D

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Date: 2013-08-11 10:44 pm (UTC)
singedbylife: (Default)
From: [personal profile] singedbylife
First petit four and it was nummy

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