AGE: Just turned 41 on August 5th
INTERESTS & HOBBIES: Cosplay & Art
LOOKING FOR: Like minded creative individuals that is into comic cons, cosplay and learning things and / or brainstorming right along with me. I would not say that I am 'pro' though others may disagree with that. I just like to being creative, experiment and see what happens. Feel free to check out my interests to see if we're a good match.
ANYTHING ELSE?: This account is just my sewing account, nothing 'personal' per say. I am currently working on moving my cosplay stuff over to this dreamwidth account from my LiveJournal account. It is quite a slow process so please bare with me. Also most of my costumes are MERMAIDS! *ahem* I have a slight obsession. ;p
ALSO KNOWN AS: sinicallytwisted <--- My art journal, which is also being worked on. ;)
It's overcast. Solid pale grey sky. Which means any eclipsing is probably resulting in a slight dimming of the already dim day.
This is exactly the same weather as 38 years ago, when I got to "see" the full eclipse. I had a small sheet of treated glass to look through to see it. So I technically got to see the eclipse, because the glass let me see it without the clouds, but... no darkening in the sky (dim solid grey overcast), no watching any changes, just "here, look through this; look around until you see the sun!"
So I looked through this dark hand-sized sheet of glass, and sure enough, there's a darker glowing spot in one place in the sky. And today, I don't even have special polarized glass; I was planning on doing one of the pinhole projector things, but there doesn't seem to be much point.
I don't get to watch the Moon Lord cover the glowing body of the Sun Lady. I haz a sad.
Don't let the clouds fool you, though; it's still the best time to take down Fire Nation.
On the home automation front, I got my air conditioner set up to work with the Smart Things hub. I didn't wind up having to mess with the complicated CORE programming; managed to find/questionably hack smart apps that existed in the system to do what I want. Now, my air conditioner will come on at 82F degrees and turn off at 80F; I can turn it on by voice control through Alexa whenever, but it will still shut off at 80F. If the condo goes above 84F, Smart Home will send a text message to my phone; I installed an app on my phone to then forward that text message to email, where I'm far more likely to see it in a timely manner and be able to ask either my neighbor or T to stop by and see what's going on. (It's a pretty useful app, and considering I can go days without checking my phone for messages on the weekend, I probably should have installed something similar before.)
(The app uses access to my Gmail account, which is a bit unnerving, so I set up a burner account just for this, then forwarded that account to my regular email. So the chain is something like: temperature monitor --> smart hub --> phone --> phone app --> burner account --> my email. Like I said, much questionable hacking.)
My new phone, by the way, is a thing of beauty. Unlocked Moto G4 and I will never buy a locked phone again. The sheer joy of turning on a new phone and seeing NO bloatware was delightful beyond words. Just the Google suite, nothing else. The young lady at the MetroPCS store got it all up and running in about 20 minutes (and buffaloed the folks as Virgin Mobile when they tried to convince her (calling as me) to stay with them. It was hilarious listening to her deadpan through all of their blandishments. Which, if you valued your loyal customers so much, dude, why didn't I get one single offer of a free phone for the 12 years before this, hmm?).
Everything I use is now installed and working, including my smart home apps and my databases. Happily, I had backed my databases up to the app server last time I changed phones, so I just had to track down the stuff I've bought since then. That was pretty simple for my DVD/blu rays, as they were either on specific shelves, or in a specific stack. Music was a little harder, but I rip all CDs as soon as I get them, so I just manually added all of the albums added to iTunes since the last database backup. Took a little while, but far less of a headache than I'd been afraid of. Wait, no, I do still have to sync my Calibre catalog, but then I'll be done, and that one is straightforward.
I also did three loads of laundry and some housework, took care of T's cats, took out multiple loads of recycling, replaced the Roomba's battery, and spent far too much time sitting on the couch watching gymnastics.
All fiction requests will be delayed until Tue Aug 29 at the earliest. Please say how urgent all divination requests are; if they are not urgent, they will be similarly delayed. Etsy orders I'll get out the door promptly. If you want to commission jewelry or artwork, we can talk, but the same delay applies. Redbubble orders are on Redbubble's schedule.
If you signal-boost this and let me know you've done it, I'll do 100 words of fiction to your request, one small art to your request, or one divination card-equivalent—no earlier than Tue Aug 29.
Fiction to Buyer's Prompt
Current Etsy will be put on vacation Thursday
Older Etsy will be put on vacation Thursday
Characters/Pairing/Other Subject: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark
Content Notes/Warnings: none
Medium: Digital drawing
Artist on DW/LJ: dchanberry
Artist Website/Gallery: Denise's Original Art Blog
Why this piece is awesome: This is a Captain America/Star Wars: The Force Awakens crossover. The artist herself noted, "I kept thinking about Star Wars AU and had to add Bucky as a storm trooper, because guess who else broke their conditioning and escaped an evil organization?", which perfectly sums up why I think this piece works. I also love the casting of Steve as a Jedi, and Tony as a Resistance pilot.
Link: Bucky?! Who the hell's Bucky?
2. When I open the front garden blinds, there's hummingbirds fluttering away. HUMMINGBIRDS! They're the fairies of the bird world. Magical.
2. When I walk outside in my -- low-key wealthy -- neighborhood in what is esseeeeeentially pajamas, no one comments, or even spares me a second glance. This is brought to you by the girl who for the one short outside stint planned did not bother putting anything on beyond house-pants and a Nevertheless She Persisted shirt.
4. When I walk outside in the City on a workday, however, people throw me appreciative glances. European-style attire isn't common on the West Coast, and even if people wouldn't wear it they seem to agree it's interesting, or maybe even daring ("How is she going to explain that to her startup CEO in his ratty, IRONIC Status Quo band t-shirt?")
5. People are nice. I do mean that in an occasional nice-guy kind of way, but for 99% of interactions that suits me perfectly well. Germans are forthright, and you will know where you stand with them. Just, in 75% of interactions, you won't LIKE knowing where you stand with them.
* People talk about Ravelry for helping indie designers find audiences, encouraging beginner knitters/crocheters/weavers to tackle ambitious projects (community support), and so on. I've found it useful for being able to see how a certain garment fits a certain body without the social block of "Don't stare." That and looking around me while walking on university campuses and urban streets, for yeeeeears. But it's tricky, eh? because this cardigan model shares some of my proportions, and the cardigan doesn't look good on her. The thing is to figure out why, not to decide first off never to make a cardigan like that (though never-make is likely in this case). (And she can wear this well, but I couldn't because (a) her shoulders are straight, mine slope and (b) she has at least a handsbreadth more height in the torso than I. Heh.)
* This alteration tutorial made me chuckle. How do you know if you need to make a swayback alteration? ( Read more... )
Dear Captain Awkward,
It’s been two years since my diagnosis with a very aggressive form of breast cancer, and eighteen months since my double mastectomy. The type of cancer (IBC) ruled out immediate reconstruction with implants (which I would have declined anyway, because not for me).
It used to be that women with IBC didn’t get reconstruction, because TBH we usually didn’t live all that long. Nowadays after a waiting period of two years or so one can have a DIEP flap where skin, fat and blood vessels are taken from the stomach and grafted onto one’s chest.
I’ve completed treatment, there’s currently no sign of cancer, and I’m doing well. I’m trying to move forward and get on with my life as much as possible.
But here’s my problem: medical folk keep pestering me to get reconstruction and don’t seem to understand that I DON’T WANT IT.
I’ve made a list of the pros and cons and–while it’s fine for others, it’s not fine for me, right now, under these particular circumstances.
I’m a smart person with a supportive partner, friends and family. Yes, the things surgeons can do are amazing. I know all about my options. If I want more information I know how to get it.
But..the continual unasked-for conversations from presumedly well-meaning medical providers are irritating at best and at worst can send me into a days-long depressive spiral.
Because I was trained to be a people-pleaser and discount my own ideas and opinions, and when I hear, “Have you considered reconstruction? We can do amazing things and by the way, you basically get a free tummy tuck..”
..my brain translates it into, “You are not okay the way you are, and your choice is not a valid one and your appearance is not acceptable. You are BROKEN. Let us fix you.”
What none of my medical providers seem to understand is that I want to maximize my physical activities and minimize my time spent in hospitals to the greatest extent possible, and for the most part I don’t give a rat’s behind whether I meet society’s expectations of how a female should look.
I’ve always been large-breasted and very self-conscious about it, and at the same time considered myself a bit of a “tomboy”.
It turns out I’m more at home in my body without breasts, have less back and neck pain, don’t miss bras or boob sweat, and enjoy wearing button-down shirts I buy from the men’s department.
My sex life is just fine.
I identify with others in the “flattie” community far more than anyone else in Breast Cancer Land.
But when doctors start pushing reconstruction, I feel as if my choice to remain flat is being questioned, and it affects my mental health when my efforts to explain and/or justify my choice seemingly fall on deaf ears.
Is there a script to politely shut this down? I’d be grateful for any suggestions.
Her/She pronouns, and just sign me “Flat and (Mostly) Happy”
Dear Flat and Mostly Happy,
I think your medical providers need a letter (email, fax, whatever works) spelling out what you told me. Something like:
Thank you for your excellent care so far.
There is some information I would like you to put in my chart & medical records in a way that it is clear to all the providers & staff I work with at your practice: I am not interested in discussing breast reconstructive surgery at this time. If that ever changes, I will bring it up.
I know you and your staff are just trying to make sure I know my options. I’m very happy to be cancer-free, I’m happily adjusting to my new body, but I’m feeling pressured and distressed by these discussions and the prospect of more surgery in a way I’m sure you don’t intend. I’d appreciate it it can just become a non-issue during our visits, and if that changes, I will be sure to let you know.
Thanks for all you do.”
If you know of articles that might explain this well and help the doctor or clinical staff do better with other patients, include links or mentions of those resources. Then send it to every one of your current providers where this has been a problem before your next visit.
It’s not a 100% foolproof solution, but it will make you feel like you are more in control and you can remind yourself that hey, you told them how to take care of you as clearly and politely as you could. If someone brings it up (maybe they haven’t seen it, maybe they forgot), here are some scripts:
- “I’ve said many times that I’m not interested. Can I ask why you are trying so hard to sell me on this when you know that I don’t want it?“
I suspect (but do not know for sure) that the answer has to do with insurance & money, like, there is a limited window where insurance will pay for reconstruction so they are trying to make sure that you get in inside the window and worried that you’ll regret it later. People had to fight hard to get insurance companies to pay for any reconstruction and the benefit is probably a “use it or lose it” deal.
That’s an understandable reason, if that is the reason, so, make them spell it out for you, and then give your informed consent to skip that part, like, “Okay, I appreciate it – I know you are trying to make sure I am financially taken care of as well as medically, thanks for helping me make an informed choice. I choose to opt out of reconstructive surgery at this time. If I change my mind down the road and it becomes an insurance or financial issue, I’ll cross that bridge then. In the meantime, can we agree to put this to bed? It really stresses me out to talk about it in a way I’m sure you don’t intend. Thank you.”
- “I’m not interested in talking about reconstructive surgery. I’ll let you know if that changes.“
- “I put something in writing about this – did it not make it into my chart?” Ask the person the best way to make sure that this information is visible to anyone who treats you.
Repeat this stuff like a broken record. If the person won’t stop, you have permission to stop being polite. You probably won’t stop being polite because you are a polite person but knowing that you’ve communicated your needs very directly and clearly can sometimes be helpful, like, “I’m 100% sure I’m not the one making this weird right now.”
I hope this gets easier for you, Letter Writer. Readers, do you have any tactics that have worked to set boundaries with medical professionals?
It is now time for the summer Captain Awkward Dot Com pledge drive, where I shake the tip jar in the general direction of all of you kind readers. If you like what I do here and are able to support the work, please visit my Patreon page or make a donation via PayPal or Cash.me. Thanks to your support, we’ve made the blog ad-free. My next goal is to take a sabbatical from teaching in 2018 and work on a CaptainAwkward book and other writing projects. Every little bit counts, and I’m grateful for it.
Since my mom's abroad right now, I took my dad to the beach this weekend, with a couple other relatives for company. Saturday was a wonderful, sunny day, driving through the rainforest mountain. I was a bit worried during the week, since a tropical storm was headed to the Caribbean and there'd been a landslide on road along the coastline. But luckily, the storm missed us entirely and went further north. Also the effects of the landslide were mostly taken care of, so the road was clear.
Here's a pic I took on Saturday, of the view from the house. As you can see, we got lovely, clear skies.
And at nightfall it was just amazing to see thousands of stars per square inch in the sky. I mean, I know they're always there, but where I live we never see them all, due to the bright lights.
On Sunday, the weather was a bit more overcast, but it was nice being warm and dry, while still having that lovely view despite the rain. I did a little bit of sketching of the rain falling on the deck. It was oddly mesmerizing watching the raindrops making circular patterns in the pool.
( Pencil Sketch: Raindrops )
Glad the skies cleared up in the afternoon for the long drive in our return journey back home. Here's one more pic of the coastline on that part of the island. Gorgeous as usual. *___* ( Photo )
Hey, I hear there's gonna be a complete solar eclipse over the U.S. today. I think here in the Caribbean we'll be able to see a partial eclipse at around 2:30pm, a few hours from now. So I'm looking forward to that. :)
- The Defenders
EEE! I didn't realised the series came out over the weekend. I see everyone on Tumblr and DW seems to have seen in. EVen my own *brother* has seen it. Where was I? At the beach. lol. Need to watch before I get spoiled somehow. /o\
Yes, because OVAs are magical things. ;-) I'm not a natural marathoner, though, despite Kay and Wife's best efforts. The closest I've come has been watching an entire anime over a weekend (BACCANO!), or over regular Friday night gatherings (multiple, the most infamous being BLACK CAT, because no seriously where the fuck did that entire last disc come from).
These posts was made this morning from Simon and Sunfire.
August 21 2017
"So farewell then. 15 years is a long time and a lot of water has flowed under the bridge. But now it's time to say goodbye. No more threads after this one, we're closing down. The site will at some stage become a read only site. So if you want to leave your contact details in this thread for other posters to get in touch that would be great otherwise email us at email@example.com.
The admins would like to thank the posters at this site. You made this site and we wouldn't have lasted as long as we could without you. So thank you. And if you want to mark our passing, please find a charity or organisation that deals with the treatment of Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) and leave a donation.
And a special thanks to Caroline who I had the privilege of meeting."
Seems the recent Whedon news was the final nail in the coffin.
I don't have any clever graphics because I am not a clever-graphics person, but with the season 3 premiere fast approaching (September 10!), I invite all Outlander fans to join outlander_forum, a discussion community for fans of the Starz TV adaptation and/or Diana Gabaldon's books. Please note that at this time, this is aiming to be purely a discussion forum, not a forum for fanworks (icons, fanfic, etc.) as there are other venues for that. This might change down the road, but for now, the focus will be on discussing the show, the books, and related issues.
I don't remember my 2012 slang very well - was this an actual thing people said?
"You're eggs is prego."
There are so many things wrong with that sentence, my brain just imploded.
Still, at least it was a "closed belly" shower.
What does that mean?
Aw, I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.
The "Peek-A-Boo, I Eat You" Appetite-Suppress-Inator!
(Have I been watching too much Phineas and Ferb reruns? Yes, yes I have.)
Now, that's pretty good, but you must admit: the baby-embedded-in-clear-gelatin is kind of hard to see.
So for maximum "Inator" effectiveness, we're gonna need to open that baby (belly) up.
Hmmm, but is it possible to make the whole thing shinier?
You know, in a more seeping, moist, and gelatinous kind of way?
Just think, with these Appetite-Suppress-Inators, soon, Cake Wrecks will RULE the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA! Mwuah-ha-haaaa!
Thanks to Rish, Rachel G., Karen Q., & Diana M., who'd all look adorable in brown fedoras, I just know it.
Holy moley, it's still the gayest show on TV that thinks it's not gay at all.
Steve and Danny's storyline was the B-plot (or was the case the B-plot? Hard to say). It was Valetine's Day weekend, and Steve and his girlfriend were headed to a hotel to spend a romantic weekend together. Steve cracks open a beer and wanders onto the hotel balcony . . . and discovers Danny already drinking a beer on the next balcony over.
Danny stares at him for a long time and says, "Why?"
INDEED, DANNY. INDEED.
Ends up Danny and Steve's gfs have decided they all need to hang out together, so they got adjoining rooms at the hotel. Danny is particularly perturbed by this as he doesn't think his romantic game is strong and it'll be particularly hard with Steve there with his "judgey" face. So they bicker and then have a conversation about . . . safe words. I kid you not.
The rest of the S/D storyline includes:
* Everyone playing volleyball (not gay, right? Their gfs are there!) . . . to the Kenny Loggins song that played during the volleyball scene in Top Gun (aka THE GAYEST)
* Steve and Danny going out for a swim together and wading back from the water together
* Steve and Danny breaking and entering into someone's hotel room in search of Danny's sunglasses
* Steve and Danny having facials in the spa. The camera eventually widens to show the gfs are there, but then Danny decides he can't stand spa-ing a moment longer and leaves, and Steve goes after him to check he's okay.
* A romantic dinner on the beach for the four of them, but Steve and Danny sit beside each other, and Steve throws his arm around Danny and caresses his ear.
I just . . . are the writers trying to send a message? Do they all have secret RL crushes on their friends? Who puts the volleyball music from Top Gun to a scene where Steve and Danny (or for that matter their gfs) are playing a game and thinks "that will read straight"?
I am so looking into the camera like Ben Wyatt right now.
My day has gone a bit cockammie. I was supposed to see my psychiatrist at 9.20 but there are storms the whole way between there and here (an hours drive) and I just cannot. So now I have to squeeze it in next week between various work things. Fun! It frees up some time for me to do other things, but I'm so flummoxed by the order of my day being thrown out of whack that I don't exactly know what other things I want to do. Brains.
A program I've been working on all summer starts up this Wednesday with training days for everyone involved, and then our participants arrive on Saturday. I usually look forward to the participants arriving, but I am so utterly over this program after working on it the past three months that I feel no anticipation. It was supposed to be a program run by me and one of my bosses, but then she left, and everyone assumed I would just pick up the slack. But it is a two-person job, and there is only one of me, so I am left very tired, frustrated, and out of fucks for the whole thing. It'll get done, but oy. I have an email in to my other boss about extra compensation for all my work, so I hope they come through on that.
I guess I'm feeling frustrated overall that I never got a chance to have a summer. I did some very cool things - I loved getting a glimpse of Boston; my conference in Virginia last week was amazing - but save for four hours on a Michigan beach, I've had no real time off, and no time to take time off at that. So today I'm feeling very grumpy.
Boo on that. Perhaps I should bribe myself to do work and go to the coffeeshop? That would be a fun place to be even if the work I'm doing is not fun itself. Sounds like a plan.
- I thought about my fic once or twice
- I wrote
- I did some planning and/or research
- I edited
- I've sent my fic off to my beta
- I posted today!
- I'm taking a break
- I did something else that I'll talk about in a comment
Ways To Give:
Sarah is raising funds to help save her family's house, where they are facing eviction. They are dealing with her mother's illness and recent unemployment, and they are trying to raise $100K to cover hospital bills and mortgage payments. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.
Anon linked to a fundraiser for the legal fees for protestors in Durham, who pulled down the Confederate statue. You can read more and support their legal defense here.
spasticat has been unemployed since October of last year, and while she's been actively looking for work, her benefits and savings have run out; she's raising funds for utilities, medication, and rent. At the end of September she is also moving back home, and needs funds to cover the move. You can read more and support her YouCaring here.
rilee16 is struggling to cover medical expenses after two head injuries last year, and has a fundraiser running to cover living expenses, previous medical bills, and a recent rent increase. You can read more and help out here.
Buy Stuff, Help Out:
magpiesmiscellany has a selection of tree-of-life pendants in various shapes, colors, and sizes for sale, with proceeds going to Planned Parenthood, Lambda Legal, the ACLU, Doctors Without Borders, Earthjustice, Sierra Club, and the National Immigration Law Center. You can read more and purchase them here.
in_the_bottle is looking for a new housemate in London, in Fulham SW6, bordering Hammersmith. Two professional females, at least one fandom friendly. You can read more and get in touch here.
And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're not sure how to proceed, here is a little more about what I do and how you can help (or ask for help!). If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.
The Eos 400D I got works except that it doesn't accept memory cards, which makes it fairly useless. It looks like at least one pin at the bottom of the card slot is bent and flattened, and the procedure for getting inside it to fix that looks to be horribly complicated. I've asked a repairer for a quote but I suspect that it might well be more than the cost of a working 400D on eBay. Fortunately I shouldn't lose money on the purchase, because even a dead 400D sells for £20 or so, and because one of the lenses I bought with it, which I initially thought was fairly naff, turned out to be extremely rare and sold for £55 last night. If the buyer eventually gets round to paying me I ought to be quids in.
In related news I've decided to sell on the Sony Nex 5 camera I got at a car boot a few months ago - it was interesting, but it isn't designed to be used the same way as an SLR or a fake SLR like the bridge camera and my reflexes are all wrong for it. That's on eBay now, along with some lens converters I bought for it but never got round to using. It's a shame in a way because it's really a better camera than the Fujitsu or the Eos 400D with higher resolution, HD video, and more bells and whistles, but I'd sooner use a camera that I like than own one that's better but just sits on the shelf.
All of the stuff I'm selling is here
After that there were speeches from the monks that went on far too long - the locals were looking pretty bored. (I forgot to mention: we were, as promised, welcomed to the festival as honoured guests in the opening speech.)
( faces and schoolgirls and proud fathers, oh my )
After that there was another dance troupe, wearing tentacle hats, and then it was time for us to leave.
Our holiday property, a big square block that was once the police station, is about half way along the high street, so we are surrounded by interesting shops and buildings. There's a fantastic decommissioned chapel with a wonderful wooden door and short-but-commanding turret for sale, but sadly the deadline for offers passed on Friday, so our sudden interest in owning a Welsh chapel was short lived. Then there was a big old building housing an interesting looking café and a couple of shops, one of which was a secondhand bookshop. You will be unsurprised to learn that we went in the bookshop, and bought a couple of books. abrinsky, to our amazement, found a book about Mizoram, an Indian state on which we've found very little published in English. We snapped that up. When we got back we discovered that it's the memoir of a Welsh missionary woman in Mizoram after WW2.
My find was a book of crochet patterns, published by Batsford in 1969. I love Batsford's modern textile books (which tend to have lovely tactile covers), and their older ones are also very desirable. There are lots of patterns for placemats, table cloths, tray covers, pillowcase edgings, and other household items that are very much of their time. There are also some clothes that I would definitely wear:
I'm seriously thinking of having a go at that or one of the other tops, but they are crocheted in very fine yarn with a 1.25mm hook, so I estimate it will take me around seventeen years to complete. This may be a good thing - a way of filling my need to make, whilst slowing down my rate of acquiring stuff.
abrinsky, however, rejected the opportunity to be a style icon with a crocheted tie:
After the bookshop was St Cadfan's church, which is 1500 years old and very impressive. I haven't uploaded the other photos yet, but this head from one of the pillars intrigued us because it seems to be a woman, where all the others are clearly men. (We could be misreading, but we spent ages comparing faces, facial hair, and apparel.)
After the church there were derelict buildings, ghost signs, a C20 Catholic Church that we couldn't get into and a plan to go to the beach. But then it started to rain, so we headed back and stopped at Dolly's where they serve delicious gluten free cake and acceptable coffee.
(We didn't actually buy any kitchen roll.)
I mean, there were a lot of Wildstorm books. And remember I said it was a pirate ship? The world-building was all over the place. I had to sit down and write a fucking cosmology for this project. Jim Lee made me invent 12,000 years of intergalactic history and I will never forgive him. -- Warren Ellis
( Read more... )